TITLE: Those Roses Were Meant For You
PAIRING: Pin, mentions of Jin/Meisa
SUMMARY: The rose attracts the butterfly.
DISCLAIMER: Do not own.
A/N: Collaboration (?) withluna_truths. It started out as mere complaining about Pi's costume. And then. This happened. I still don't know how. Does it count as a collaboration if we were just talking like it was completely normal?
Come home to me, Jin
Jin sits infront of his computer, watching as Yamapi gets onstage, the stage lights shining down on him. He looks thinner, Jin thinks, as the camera zooms in a little.
Before he's even singing, Jin can feel the tears forming in his eyes. Why was he so far away? Why was he always so far away? He can barely hear the song anymore. All he can see is Yamapi, on that stage, looking as professional as always, that mask firmly attached as he waited for the right beat to start singing.
There are roses on his costume.
Jin remembers planting roses in Yamapi's mother's garden when they were teenagers, dirt smeared across their cheeks and the sun beating down upon them. He remembers watching them grow, transforming from mere buds into beautiful flowers. He remembers the way Yamapi would pick one - the best one - and give it to him.
When they were older, they planted more.
Butterflies would come and perch themselves on the thorny branches, their wings almost transparent in the sun. They were beautiful. But the roses were always Jin's favourite.
The tears start falling. Jin doesn't even realise it until the door opens and Meisa comes in, laden with shopping bags, and suddenly he's snapping his laptop shut and wiping furiously at his eyes before she can see him.
"Hey," she pants, and he just hums something back. She pauses on her way to the kitchen, turning to look at him. Jin refuses to meet her eyes. "...Are you okay?"
Meisa looks at him for a while. "No, you're not," she murmurs, in that soft voice she gets when she knows. She knows. "There are tear tracks on your face, Jin," she says, carrying the rest of the bags into the kitchen.
Jin rubs at his face again, sighing. But Meisa is back, padding across the floor in her socks, and sinking down into the chair next to him. Jin turns his head away - she doesn't need to see this - but she's clicking her tongue and rolling her eyes and pulling his head down to her shoulder.
"Shut up, you idiot," she snaps rather softly, when he starts protesting, "Just cry."
So Jin does, sobbing into her shoulder as she threads her fingers through his hair. "I miss him," he says, clutching onto her. "I miss him so much."
Meisa says nothing. Jin is holding onto her so tightly that he can feel the small bump of her stomach, and it makes him cry more. "I know," she says, resting her chin on his head.
She deserves so much better than him. She deserves someone who loves her with all his heart.
But his heart had never belonged to her.
Halfway through the performance, Yamapi breaks, and he starts remembering Jin. That mole next to his eye; the way he laughs; the way his eyes light up when he sees him.
And then the tears start pooling in his eyes. He tries his hardest to keep them at bay as he sings, but he barely succeeds. His voice wavers a little.
Somehow, he manages to keep it together.
After the performance, he bows to the hosts and the rest of the crew like he's supposed to, thanking them for their hard work. They all comment on how good he is; how well-mannered he is, but he isn't paying them attention. He locks himself in his dressing room.
But then, whilst he's sitting there alone, he remembers that Jin isn't in Japan. He isn't there to greet him when he comes home. He isn't there to laugh with.
So he cries, sitting there still in his costume, those roses that decorate his suit just brushing his face as he crumples in his seat, holding his head in his hands.
He wonders if Jin is watching. If Jin will ever watch it.
He was performing just for Jin.
His phone vibrates on the makeup table and he fumbles for it, not even bothering to wipe away the tears. It's probably just his manager anyway, telling him to get the hell out of the dressing room, because there's a car waiting to take him home.
Yamapi opens his phone.
It's not his manager.
I miss you. I love you.